I tried. I saw the awesome potential of this game and I really tried despite the rampant idiocy and overall half-assed-ness. Then it crashed as I was saving and I lost two full days of data. From over 110 saves down to 80, and that was thanks only to an automatic upload to the cloud. I can’t take it anymore. This game and the players deserve better than what you’ve done, Warhorse Studios. The following is a list of glitches, errors and general stupidity that have plagued me since minute one of playing this game in no particular order of appearance:
SAVING Manual saving as a consumable item? Not only that but a consumable item that takes up inventory weight AND makes you drunk? If it wasn’t for the fact that you made drinking a skill, with perks and everything, I would give that an 8 out of ten on the BS-o-meter. As it is, 7 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter. Add to that a bug that makes said manual saving only sometimes work if your immediate previous save is also a manual save.
ARCHERY No matter how high the bow skill gets, the bow arm still wavers like a drunken sailor and there is no aiming reticle. Wavering arm in the beginning, of course, but that sort of thing goes away as you learn and gain experience. Any actual archer will tell you that so you really have no excuse for screwing that one up. Having no aiming reticle is inexcusable if you decide to put not one but two of them in for swordplay and just walking around. 10 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter.
FAST TRAVEL As the name implies, a fast travel system is supposed to be FAST. That is not what happened here. It should properly be called an auto travel system since A: You still get waylaid mid-process by bandits, pedestrians and even ANIMAL CARCASSES IN THE ROAD (seriously?!) and B: its slow, plodding method takes even more time to complete when you add the loading time after finally reaching your destination. 9 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter
COMBAT Absolutely absurd, utterly punitive and all around inadequate. A perfectly fit and muscular young man, the son and apprentice of a middle age, completely non-automated blacksmith, should be able to punch faster than an 60 year old man with arthritis, to say nothing of how quickly he swings a weapon even with two hands. And if you find yourself up against more than two enemies at the same time, god help you. You’d have more luck if you were a hen in a fox house. Ripostes: all but worthless. I’ve never actually performed one with a shield equipped. Combos: Also all but worthless as every single enemy from filthy bush bandits to trained cuman warriors counter or dodge two moves in and disrupts the chain of attacks. 10 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter
STATS/SKILLS Way too many wasted stats and skills. Visibility/Conspicuousness? Drinking? Bladed, Piercing and Blunt defense? Five of those are redundant and one is just a waste of time, both on the player’s part and the programmers’. Most of the perks in every skill are either mutually exclusive of each other or provide debuffs and downsides that are just as strong as the buffs and advantages. And you made stealth completely irrelevant. 9 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter.
LOAD TIMES AND SCREENS I’ve played games twice as large as this with faster load times but that’s nothing I can’t live with. What REALLY irks me here is the same damned “King Charles, King of Bohemia and Holy Roman Emperor” vid playing every time you start the game. That sort of thing belongs at the start of a New Game, not every time you play, especially when you’re not allowed to skip it! I’ve fractured my thumb on the mute button because of this particular stupidity. 5 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter.
MICROMANAGING There is such a thing as too much realism and you guys have POLEVAULTED OVER IT. Hunger and Tiredness? Food spoilage and poisoning? Drunkenness? Dirtiness? A comfort level for beds? Seriously? Why not thirst? Horniness? Sickness? Age? VD? You’ve already gone too far, why not get really personal?! 11 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter.
CRIME It’s pretty straightforward, really. Take something that isn’t yours = theft. Kill a guard under any circumstances or someone that didn’t start a fight with you = murder. Get caught picking a lock or someone’s pocket = attempted theft. Be in someone’s home or business after hours without invitation = trespassing. But how is it that someone asleep in the next room can hear you picking a lock? How is it that, even when the in-game tutorial tells you that you can acquire a horse by stealing it, you can’t actually do that even if you ride that horse from Neuhof to Skalitz? I honestly don’t know if this is a bug or crappy programming. 7 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter.
TREASURE MAPS I don’t understand these at all. Crappy drawings with piss-poor directions and not even a marker in the quest log to show that you’ve read the map and started the search or that you’ve found the treasure associated with the map so even if you find some box or chest in the middle of the wilderness, you don’t know if that was what you were looking for. Not even a highlighted search area on the map to ballpark it for you. 5 out of 10 on the BS-o-meter.
In closing, I will say this: This must be what Frankenstein’s Monster felt like when he realized he was an awesome feat of creation and then he heard everyone around him calling him an abomination. This game had all the potential to be as great as TES5: Skyrim or even TW3: The Wild Hunt but none of the creator support. Every aspect of it has a distinct lowest bidder, budget cut, fresh out of school, half assed feeling that frankly depresses me to the core. Having said that, I’m reluctantly looking forward to the sequel because I hope, OH SWEET LORD, DO I HOPE, the creators will learn from this humongous cock up and do it right!