In my Kingdom Come journey, I’ve come across trials and tribulations. I’ve played for a total of four hours (one of which was used trying to tweak my graphics, then finding out the game runs WAY better on an SSD, and thus deleting and re-downloading so it runs smoother) and I’ve discovered numerous things.
One: Bad food is bad. That % matters. Also my character needs to eat, and shouldn’t overeat. Whoops.
Two: That I cannot be as much of a hoarder as I’d like.
Three: Crime is fucking hard dude. And dangerous. People get really mad when you take their stuff. Also, what the actual fuck is lockpicking.
Four: I managed to figure out lockpicking. Sort of. I opened a door and found a bunch of cool stuff.
Five: I realized that no weak-ass peasant boy is going to be able to carry 200lbs. I also realized that horses don’t like carrying 200lb peasant boys carrying an extra 200lbs worth of shit.
Six: I realized that peasant boys have swords too. But for some reason, this peasant boy was determined to punch like some wandering monk. Also, punches don’t do much to actually kill a person.
Seven: When you punch someone that has a sword, they aren’t going to be very afraid of you. Also, since you’re wearing a sword but choose to punch them instead, I’d like to think that they feel insulted.
Eight: By pressing the magic button, 1, I have learned to draw my sword. My eyes are open. Anything is possible! I will avenge my family. I will steal whatever isn’t nailed down. Plus find a horse. The world is mine!
Nine: Nevermind, I am still getting assblasted. But at least I have a sword out!