I hope Henry won't "get the girl"

[hydronics311]

@MINTEEER the way i was seeing it you didn’t save her or anything just to get in her pants. doing nice things for a person, helping them, “saving” them and such other things does seem like a good way to earn trust. because that’s what has to happen. even if you’re nice (or a douche bag), and you ask someone out, that doesn’t mean they immediately trust you. that’s built over time with “tests.” i’m not saying like deliberately planned tests, but i’ll use myself as an example here. i had a gf which later i found out absolutely HATED someone (anyone) being late. ever. i generally wasn’t trying to be late, but there were a few occasions where I was (like a few minutes) and i didn’t call her because I didn’t know i was going to be late. i got the 1st degree about it and it kind of made both of us start to divide. little did i know that she had major issues with past people in her life letting her down and so she’d made up this hard and fast rule. and at that point she could no longer trust that i’d be on time when i said i would be. obviously we didn’t last because i found that too strict, like real life happens and you can’t always predict these things.

and I do know what you’re saying about helping a woman and not wanting expecting anything. however i do know that, as a dude, that’s a huge motivation to help if you think it’s a possibility, especially if it’s also someone you like. doing nice things for her, helping her out, coming to the rescue when she’s in a bind… these are all things that are showing her you care and like her. at a certain point you’re right, you need to come right out and ask or express that directly if nothing has been reciprocated. but there’s also the fear of rejection that many suffer from which paralyzes them. “i’d rather not even risk being rejected, it’ll be too painful… more painful then me just sitting around helping and expecting a scratch behind the ear like an eager dog.” it just is. i think the main point overall is this fascination with the “saving her, getting her” concept. i guess i had taken it a lot deeper than OP had. life is never that simple. and constantly referencing hollywood/mainstream does not help your understanding @sutton_hoo. this is real life stuff.

on a historical note, maybe there was some sort of unspoken rule that if a man saved your life as a woman you had some sort of obligation to him. i’d be fascinated to find out about this so if anyone knows please update me. i highly doubt it though.

[Dushin]

Not getting the girl in a medieval game is to original.

Love me some cliches

[sutton_hoo]

At a certain point, you’re right, you need to come right out and ask or express that directly if nothing has been reciprocated.

Otherwise you’re just fooling yourself.

But there’s also the fear of rejection that many suffer from which paralyzes them. “I’d rather not even risk being rejected, it’ll be too painful… more painful then me just sitting around helping and expecting a scratch behind the ear like an eager dog.”

Just wanted to point this out.

[sutton_hoo]

Let us ask a woman.

@Anna,
If a guy you know but never really liked (let’s say, he’s just not your type; or an alcoholic; or a “momma’s boy”; or whatever), or if some random stranger from the streets (a bum) would save you from… being overrun by a car, for example – would you then fall in love with him? Suppose you already have a boyfriend, would you dump him for this guy you don’t know and don’t like but just happened to be around and, gosh, have enough conscience to pull you out of the car’s way?

Assuming already that your answer will be “No,” do you mean that Hollywood is lying to us?

[snejdarek]

Love can’t be “earned”.

Haven’t you heard about the Stockholm Syndrome?

[MINTEEER]

My god, you base your views on Hollywood? Good luck in a relationship. If a woman is in loving and caring relationship with a man, theres no way that she will fall for someone else or for someone who saved her life. She would probably feel gratitude towards him and not LOVE. Have you ever been in Love? Do you know how that feels? Now ask yourself, '‘If you are in a Loving, caring relationship with a woman for the past 1 year, and a woman from the street that smells like sewage and looks like sewage saved you from a burning car, would you fall in love with her?’'

Do You Have White Knight Syndrome?

There you go, you love reading stuff from the internet so read this.
@snejdarek Stockholm Syndrome is basically being in a Friendzone, If a girl is not attracted to you, then theres no chance being with her. Many men will go to the gym or do other stuff for the girl to like him, not seeing that many opportunities with better women have slipped by because of the tunnel vision.

[sutton_hoo]

No, no… your line should’ve been:

Ever heard about the Stockholm syndrome?

And then I say:

Ever heard about delusion?

[sutton_hoo]

My God, you base your views on Hollywood? Good luck in a relationship. If a woman is in a loving and caring relationship with a man, there’s no way that she will fall for someone else or for someone who saved her life. She would probably feel gratitude towards him and not LOVE. Have you ever been in Love? Do you know how that feels? Now ask yourself, ‘‘If you are in a Loving, caring relationship with a woman for the past one year, and a woman from the street that smells like sewage and looks like sewage saved you from a burning car, would you fall in love with her?’’

Wow, just… wow. Your remarks never cease to amaze me. You took the words right out of my mouth! How do you do that?

[Anna]

1, No.
2. Yes.

[sutton_hoo]

Now that I showed these guys who’s the boss, do you like me, @Anna?

[Anna]

I don´t know you So I don´t know

[MINTEEER]

This guy is just something else.

[YuusouAmazing]

Now that I showed these guys who’s the boss

Who are “these guys”?

[sutton_hoo]

[whispering to Yuusou] Wait! That’s not in the script. Now I must make something up…

Enough of this! To the gallows with him!

[hydronics311]

i actually wish i knew what was going on. this started as a good topic, and sadly went down in flames. @sutton_hoo, sarcasm, mocking and condescension are terrible ways to communicate with people. @MINTEEER and others were actually trying to guide you to information that could have been useful to you. but no one can do it for you. i was hoping we’d be able continue a discussion that didn’t JUST involving saving someone’s life. in a story that can be a helpful mechanism for CONTINUING TO BUILD TRUST. but there are very few instances of it just miraculously making people fall in love. Speed doesn’t count. but even in that movie, they spend hours on a bus finding things out about each other. it’s not just a random person at that point. while they might not be in love there’s already a connection made. if you’ve ever saved someone’s life, in actual real life, then you’d know there’s a lot more going on in that moment and there’s almost no thought, it’s all instinct and reaction. i guess it’s just sad to me that you think you won the argument @sutton_hoo when there really was no argument to win. it’s called a discussion. expressing ideas and seeing what others think and then trying to internalize those ideas to come up with new thoughts of expression. or not, maybe an idea doesn’t resonate with you so you don’t bother with it. that’s fine. but to try to be the victor in something that isn’t a competition is just sad. it makes me sad for you. i hope one day you do get to experience love on the level you’re talking about because it will be much easier to see that this cliche is mostly a fantasy, and even in situation where it does happen there’s WAY more psychology going on then even the two people involved realize. good luck to you.

[sutton_hoo]

So, neither do you want to act your part in the play? Fine. I quit! Nobody here knows their lines.