My favourite game

I just can’t get over how good this game is. What a stunning achievement. I still can’t decide on my favourite part. Is it the father Godwin quest failing despite walking right behind him? Maybe the multiple hours spent restarting because Theresa’s nails weren’t in the chest because something is fucked up with the way the game saves after its been out so long.

There were other moments that deserve praise too. Such as the inability to pick something up while sitting down despite it being directly in front of you. I’ll also fondly remember the loading. Loading for everything. Need to go take a piss but your Pause button is broke? Dont you worry, warhorse has you covered: Just go wash yourself in that trough, the load time after this will give you about 3 minutes.

I also need to commend the attention to realistic detail. The ultra realistic spurts of blood after hitting a dude in plate armour were my #1 favourite.

Finally the polish and smooth nature of the controls need to be mentioned. Sick of all these buggy games? Ride a horse in kingdom come, smooth as silk, it’ll calm you right down.

Bonus points for the weapon sharpening mini game. Very clearly a tool to train the finger dexterity of prospective lead guitarists

P.S. The game is ass. Even if you enjoy it, it’s still ass. Its a festering gangreneous laceration on an anus.

Thank you for your opinion… but, please, mind your words.

I’ve had a think and I’ve narrowed it down to one of two options: “no” and “fuck no”. I’ll get back to you when I make a decision.